As promised, today we’ll focus on icebreakers. In other words, how to get the conversation started at a networking in business event.
You should know that I’m really interested in hearing from you what kinds of icebreakers you find helpful. So be ready to chime in with a comment that other readers might want to add to their networking toolboxes.
Before we get started, I encourage you to always be “authentic.” I hope that doesn’t sound strange. Being in the right mindset and focusing on being you (rather than trying to be something you’re not) is key to having the whole networking process work.
The compliment. There’s nothing better to get someone to like you right away than to give them an honest compliment, and I use this all the time. This can lead quite naturally to where they got the item… or to a hidden talent. It can lead to all kinds of interesting discoveries about how they got it, who gave it to them, and next thing you know you’re on the way to a relationship.
Now I do want to offer a word of caution. Some compliments can come off either as a pick-up-line (so be careful here), or as actually not a compliment (I once had a woman come up to me when I was wearing my favorite dress and say enthusiastically, “Oh, I have that dress.” I wanted to drop through the floor and avoided her for the rest of the meeting although she’s probably a perfectly nice person.)
The question about networking. A nice starter is “Have you been to this event before?” It’s nice, it’s general, it’s easy to remember, and it at least prevents you from staring at each other. This inevitably leads to a yes or a no, however, so you’ll need a bit of a follow up such as “Do you network often?”
The question about something they have. If you can see they have a particular thing (a particular cell phone, a cool briefcase, etc.) and you are interested in it, ask. “What do you think of the new…” is a great way to get things started. For example, I have a rather unusual bag that I love (it has tons of pockets). It is also bright red and was actually made in Guatemala and, when asked, I sometimes admit that it was a baby shower gift that was intended as a diaper bag. People often ask me about it, and it always gets things going as we then start talking about family or funny gifts or things we love and refuse to part with.
The food. I sometimes attend events where after networking for a while, I’m seated at a pre-arranged table. Thus I need to start completely new conversations. I find that complimenting something we’re eating (the wine, the appetizer, a spice or flavor, or whatever) can lead to interesting anecdotes. I recently had a fascinating conversation with someone who had just been to California and gone wine tasting — all because I said I liked the cheese we were having.
The speaker. Many events will have a speaker, and you can always ask something related to him/her. “Have you read her book?” or “Have you heard her speak before?” are perfectly nice conversation starters. I’m always up for a good book discussion, and finding out what someone is reading is an excellent way to identify things you have in common. My friend Kate and I get together every so often for coffee to network… but in reality we spend most of our time talking about what we are reading and what books our kids are reading!
Do you have icebreaker ideas? Let’s see what we can come up with… so leave a comment and you’ll be helping others, too!
Out here in Nebraska we go for the “How ’bout them Huskers” about as much as anything. Naturally there is usually some beer, ok, a lot of beer, so it doesn’t take long to get the conversations going after the keg has been tapped. The uppity folks tend to look down on us country folks, so when we know somebody from a bigger city, like Seward or maybe David City will be around, we like to “freshen up” a little and will likely leave the chore boots outside, so sometimes comments about having matching socks can get things going too.
But I have found that the best approach is the simplest. Just ease up on the networkee, shove out your hand and introduce yourself, then make this request..”Tell me, what do you do and how can you help me, or maybe how can I help you?” If you get a blank stare, better walk away, but normally you should be ready to set sail.
Love it! Here in Chicago, the Bears are always a good icebreaker, too.